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Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?

Lot have been said and written about attitudes…..What exactly are attitudes?

The dictionary meaning of attitude is:

“1. a feeling or opinion about something or someone, or a way of behaving that is caused by this: example :It’s often very difficult to change people’s attitudes.

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2 If you say that someone has attitude, you mean that they are confident and independent, often in a rude or unpleasant way.

All of us have been following a set of attitudes we learned in our lifetime through our own experiences and those of others. Some of them are positive ….helps us to live our lives to the fullest-enjoying every moment. There are other attitudes which make our lives and that of others miserable - harming ourselves or others around us.

There are a few other attitudes in life which are neither negative nor positive……but can be put under the category - General - living our lives the way we have been and living and doing nothing to progress in life - in our careers, our relationships, our physical, mental or spiritual aspects of life.

Attitudes are nothing more than habits of thoughts, and habits can be acquired. An action repeated becomes an attitude realized.–Paul Myer (in Developing the Leader Within You by Maxwell)

The essence of Life as human beings is progress…..One thing all of us have to understand clearly is that if in any way we want to improve our lives -want more money, bigger house, smaller cell phones, have good health, recover from our addictions-if any, looking for “peace within”, serenity and contended life, we have to work on ourselves to change for the better. There are no two ways about it.

“Changing our attitudes will definitely change our altitudes” But the problem is that many of us are not ready to change…..we fear change….Friends “pain doesn’t come from change ….it comes from resistance to change”

Here are a few action steps which will help you to work on the “Change of Attitude” Process. Try to work on it honestly and thoroughly. After all it is your life which can improve for the better.

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First of all, do a little self searching exercise. You can ask yourself these questions:

a) Am I happy with the growth at my work.

b)Am I having a loving and understanding relationship with my wife/husband/partner or parents or children?

c) Do others treat me the way I want them to treat me?

d) Am I grateful for whatever I have today?

e) Do I believe that “my feelings are results of my thoughts” can I can
change myself to think differently to feel and act differently.

There are many, who answer in affirmative to the above…they are doing a wonderful job with themselves are working on other areas in life where they feel there is scope for improvement…..and the focus is on progress and not perfection. Because once we aim at perfecting a particular thing or behavior…..we don’t even start…it is human nature….we tend to be perfectionists…..either we do it perfectly or we don’t do it at all…So friends …..we are not looking to have a noble price for living a happy and better life but are targeting at improving from our present one.

If the answer to any of the above questions is in negative, then it is time we get going and ACT.

How do we go about changing ourselves?

Here are a few tools which helped me alter my attitudes thereby changing my life for the better .These tools have worked for me and thousands of others…and if these worked for us…it sure will work for you too…the only thing you have to do is let them.

1. Behonest, open minded and willing to change - This is the most important step. Until you are honest with yourself, open to ideas and suggestions, and Willing to improve ….there is nothing in this world which will work for you.

2. List down all the negative characters or traits you have - You can always take the help of your wife/husband/partner or a close friend as sometimes…we may not be able to see in ourselves what others can see in us.

3. Start working on them from “easy to hard” - start from the easiest one …the ones which requires less effort and gradually move on to the harder ones….break the harder ones into smaller parts….have a time limit…..set your own schedule… . but do a little bit on a daily basis….that way we will remain in touch with ourselves.

4. Compliment yourself on your achievements….whatsoever small……compliment yourself …that way we are motivated to do a little more.

5. Thank your Higher power for whatever you have and whatever you were able to change……If you don’t believe in the concept of God…thank your stars……thank the universe…or thank science……the idea is not Whom to thank……but is to be grateful.

6. Snap yourself out of negative thoughts….and be conscious about them. One tool you can you can use is to wear a thick rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever you are having negative thoughts…it will hurt you a little whenever you do that. By doing this you are giving signals to your brain that “pain is always comes from negative thoughts”…and if we don’t want pain….we might as well not think negative. Try it for 30 days and I am sure you mind will be alert whenever a negative thoughts comes.

7. Learn from your experience: “The one thing that is more painful than learning from experience is NOT learning from experience!”

Friends, life changes and if we WANT to be happy….we need to keep changing with time….and keep altering our attitudes to the changing situations and circumstances.

Most of us just need to start……..take action……. take the first step……….rest , God of your understanding and the universe will help you move on……

“It is easier to get older that get wiser”

Choice is yours….

Anurag Chopra

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About the Author

Anurag Chopra is a Chandigarh, India based Attitude Consultant and can be reached at anuragc@iicpl.net

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I believe it! We receive the lessons we need to learn . . . and we keep receiving /em until we get it at least half-way right. At least, it seemed this way to me recently, when a trip from North Carolina to Oregon took a total of 50+ hours travel time, there and back. The smart aleck mantra, Got time to spare? Go by air! was in my mind as everything that COULD go wrong DID . . . equipment malfunction . . . fog . . . ice . . . crew change . . . lost luggage . . . extended holding patterns . . . emergency rates at an airport hotel . . . except . . .

Except that, in the end, we DID arrive safely at our destinations. Airline personnel were 100% courteous and friendly. A Travelers Aid volunteer pointed us to good-quality food and relatively comfortable chairs for our 12 hours in San Francisco. (Hint: Try the sushi in the International Terminal!)

Patience is a virtue, one hard to come by in a world that counts time in nanoseconds. From soundbites to microwaves, we expect life to come in user-friendly format, and we re quick to take it personally when it doesn t.

DID YOU KNOW:

• The average doctor s visit lasts 8 minutes.
• Some fast food restaurants promise lunch in 90 seconds or it s free.
• The optimum height of a highrise is measured by people s maximum reported toleration of an elevator ride — 15 seconds.
• Most people spend less than 50 seconds brushing their teeth; most people think they spend 3 minutes each time!

And on the other side:

• Customer Service is rapidly becoming one of this country s most stressful job areas. Why? Because, after an average wait of 20 minutes on hold, customers are taking their stress out on the human being who takes their call.

SURELY THERE IS A BETTER WAY?

Back at that fogged-in airport, and the clutch of more-or-less anxious passengers. One expensively-dressed mam puffed himself up, stomped to the podium, and in a voice heard across the crowded waiting area, You don t understand, he shouted. I AM IMPORTANT!

Truth is, we re all of us and none of us important in the larger scheme of things. When big stuff happens, when there s nothing we can do to effect a change . . . then the best thing to do is do nothing. Hunker down. Wait gracefully. Breathe. Give thanks for whatever good things may be.

In The Power of Patience (Broadway, 2003), writer M. J. Ryan offers several simple steps we can take to put ourselves and our life in perspective. I especially like her suggestion to carry a small stone in my pocket. When you start to feel irritation arise, Ryan advises, move the pebble from one pocket to the other, which will help interrupt the anger cycle and give you a chance to regroup.

Pebbles are good. And if, like me, you are often caught without a pocket to your name, may I offer an even easier idea: Extend your hand, palm down. Focus on it yours is unique, unlike any other hand in the world. Now slowly S-T-R-E-T-C-H your fingers. . . Extend them . . . H-O-L-D it . . . and then RELAX.

Relax your fingers.

Relax your hand.

Relax your heart.

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Relax into a slower space, where stakes are by definition lower.

AND NOW . . . WELCOME. WELCOME TO YOUR WORLD.

About the Author

Maureen Killoran is a Life Coach offering dynamic individual and group coaching, work team empowerment training, teleclasses, and a free monthly e-zine, “Seeds of Change.” Watch for Maureen’s forthcoming e-workbook, SpiritQuesting ™ — a non-sectarian path to personal deepening and growth. Why not contact Maureen for a complimentary coaching consultation? http://www.spiritquestcoaching.com

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Learning Styles And Their Effect On Language Learning

 by: Frank Gerace

Note: This article makes special reference to the effect of learning syles in the learning of Spanish but the principles are valid for all language learning.

LEER ES PODER!

Learning Spanish!

How can you best learn Spanish? It depends on your particular approach to learning. Take a look at the following approaches to learning Spanish. But if you already know where you are, you can skip the following reflections and go back to see what is available for your level ( beginning, intermediate, or advanced ) in Spanish, to sort and search for your specific needs, as well as to read reviews and summaries of the books that strike your interest.

DIFFERENT STYLES

Non-Virgins: Those who studied another language should use the skills they acquired with that language. They know what a conjugation is. They know that verbs are different from nouns. Their previous study gives them some mental hooks to help with their Spanish. They should not throw away their advantage by working on Spanish in a completely conversational manner. They should try to get an overview of some commonplaces in the language. They should get an “old fashioned” grammar and lean heavily on the tables to organize their thought. This type of learner should “invent” Spanish on the basis of what they know of the other language. They will remember a little of the structure of the other language. For example, what is the relation between adverbs and adjectives in Spanish? What is the most common way to express what happened yesterday (past tense)? If the other language is a Western language, they should observe the possible similarities. If the other language is non-Western!

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, the very differences can be their starting point to learn the counterparts in Spanish. In short, they should study “the wrong way”. This is not for everyone. The learner should know his or herself.

Brains: These folks will operate much like the Non-Virgins. They will progress better by concentrating on the little points that intrigue them such as the difference in usage between the prepositions “por” and “para” and the verbs “ser” and “estar”. To master one or two of these elements so characteristic of Spanish will help the learn build on their conquests to go on to master other things. This analytical approach will be of great utility to the persons with the cerebral learning style.

Motor Mouths: The persons who are not afraid to try out their Spanish will progress very rapidly. These folks probably have a little genetic edge over the rest of us. However, we all should try to put together the pieces as we learn them. If there is no opportunity to talk with someone else, then we can tape our attempts. There are two parts to this early talking practice: confidence and pronunciation. The most important thing is to gain confidence or to be thick-skinned enough to speak your piece, knowing that the exercise will pay dividends. However, we should not put off working on our pronunciation until it is too late and we have given up on acquiring a valid accent. There are too many people who after living years in a Spanish speaking country are perfect in their grammar but who have a typical or even stereotypical English accent. There is no need for that. Spanish is perfectly regular in its phonetics. Motor mouths should also work on their accent!

People People: Anyone who likes being with people and who has a need to communicate will progress quickly in learning a language. Many outgoing, friendly people learn language in the “motor mouth” mode. However, other people without the gifts of the motor mouths can gain valuable exposure to the language by just following their social instincts. These folks, however, should not overlook the need to speak correctly. Although they are not interested in traditional grammar in the same way the “brains” are, they must work at speaking correctly. We all know people who learned English years ago, but still say things like, “I am interested to go with you”. You don’t want to spend your life in Spanish with a similar easily corrected error. Learn it right as soon as you can. The people people have to stay curious about the language.

Learn-while-doing People: I was told once that the only way to learn French was to sleep with a French woman. The idea behind this is that we learn the expressions and words for the activities we are interested in. People who learn like this try to get their Spanish-speaking friends to accompany them as they cook or fix their car. They find that they learn better when their whole body is involved in learning the new words and phrases. For example, the person who learns the word “serrucho” while sawing a board will remember it better than the person (see the “word collector”) who just learns the vocabulary from a list.

Word Collectors: This person may be great at crossword puzzles (Crucigramas) in Spanish but rarely gets to speak it. If you find yourself learning words and not getting any further, break out of it! We once had a houseguest, a young man from Spain who came to learn English. There were times when our family would be talking Spanish, and he would echo all the Spanish words with their English equivalents. He had a great vocabulary but never got around to talking English. This kind of learner should alway make sure that they make up sentences to practice using the new words they learn. They can combine their ability with vocabulary with the “divide and conquer” tactic. They should not only invent sentences to use the new words; they should run through diferent grammatical constructions as the setting for their vocabulary.

Divide and Conquer People: Every learner of a foreign language has to learn to incorporate the learning style of dividing and conquering into their own style. If they are “brains” they should concentrate on one grammatical turn of phrase, such as conditions contrary to fact, (If my grandfather hadn’t died, he’d be alive today!) until they can handle it.

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The people people should repeat in the same conversation the new expression that they just heard. The same goes for all the others. The only way to learn a language is by following the “swiss cheese” method, nibble away at the things you don’t know, and master them until they are all gone.

Lost Latinos: This person should try to remember the nursery rhymes that they might have learned in Spanish. They should run over the names of their cousins and uncles. All of this will loosen up their rusty language skills. They should listen to how others speak “spanglish” and try to figure out the proper way to say things. They should make a game of trying to spot the influence of English in the Spanish they hear at home or in the barrio. This detective work will make them more aware of correcting whatever bad habits they have picked up. However, don’t think that these persons have all the advantages. The person learning from scratch will probably spell Spanish words better than those who know a little Spanish. I’m not sure why.

What works for EVERYONE… There are two activities that will help everyone, no matter what their learning style, move forward rapidly: They are: 1. Passive Listening, and 2. Pattern Response Drills.

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1. Passive Listening. Everyone should keep the Spanish radio on as much as possible. Keep the radio or TV on while you doing other things. It has to be the sea of sound that you swim in while you are beginning your study of Spanish. You don’t have to concentrate on it; you are not listening to try to understand. After a while you won’t hear it but it will be affecting you. Little by little you will begin to anticipate the rhythm of the language, even before you understand everything. You will also begin to recognize certain words. You will begin to hear “beyond” the differences in pronunciation of different people and recognize the underlying word. Once you clearly hear a word or phrase, you can look it up and progressively expand your vocabulary.

2. Pattern Response Drills. You have to run through all the permutations of the new expressions that you learn. For example, suppose you just learned to say. “Pedro tiene cuatro a os” rather than translating from the English incorrectly, “Pedro es cuatro”. Now to make this new element of the language stick with you, you should go on substituting different ages and the names of different people. You have to be able to say comfortably, “Mar a tiene cuatro a os.” “Juan tiene ocho a os.” “Yo tengo treinta a os.” ” Cu ntos a os tienes t ?” “Nosotros tenemos cuarenta a os.” This type of drill is necessary for all the different learning styles.

Do you want to return to look at beginning ; intermediate , or advanced books? Or you can check out other Books ON Spanish at: http://www.bookslibros.com/spanishbooks.php to help you out.

Or do you want to see our books IN Spanish? You will find books on health, the family, self help, literature, etc. and the possibility to search for any other topic. Check out http://www.bookslibros.com/LibrosEnEspanol.php

Kids Can Learn Spanish! Take a look at: http://www.bookslibros.com/SpanishForNinos.htm

About The Author Frank Gerace Ph.D has lived and worked in Latin America on Educational and Communication Projects. He currently teaches English in New York City at La Guardia College/CUNY. He provides help to parents wanting to have their children speak Spanish at: http://www.bookslibros.com/SpanishForNinos.htm.

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