April 2007
Monthly Archive
Sat 28 Apr 2007
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Coping with Grief - It’s Called Living Through It
by: Gail H. Stone
“Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she’s dead.”
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“Grandpa died yesterday.”
“Oh my God, Daddy’s dead.”
“Uncle Jack died today.”
“Grandma died last night.”
“I’m standing with the body of your deceased father-in-law.”
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“I’m sorry, but we weren’t able to resuscitate your mother.”
“Mike called. He thinks Mary is dead.”
“I’m sorry to leave this on your voice mail, but Uncle Andy died last night.”
This litany of phone calls and conversations on death or parting has all occurred in the past 30 years of my life, most in the last 20. Whether I was the one delivering or receiving these messages, the speaking of each one was the start of the long, seemingly endless process of grieving. Often, I felt so sucker punched that I doubted I could go on. Getting up the next day seemed impossible, yet somehow I almost always did.
Something deep inside told me I had to, that there was no other way to get through it, but to keep moving. I attribute that to my deep belief in a higher plan and a sense that getting through this trial was like going through a tunnel. I told myself that if I put one foot in front of the other, I would eventually come out the other side and be able to feel somewhat whole again. Sometimes, it was all I could do to put one toe in front of the other, but all forward movement I deemed positive.
The last five instances happened within the past five years, with my mother and sister-in-law and godfather’s deaths back to back in ‘99, ‘00 and ‘01. Looking for the reason why I have been given so many opportunities to experience the grip of grief first hand, I now believe it was in order to help others and ease their way.
If you’ve been here, you know. There’s no magic pill to get you through the immense pain, intense sadness and amazing denial, anger and upset that you feel. However, I did create, through trial and error, a few simple practices which have profoundly impacted my journey through the tunnel and I would like to share them with you.
(1) Every single day, let in the love of family, friends and co-workers. On those days that you feel you can’t bear to see anyone or when you realize that some of them have moved on, thinking in error that you are “better”, read through the cards you’ve received. Save and then play voice mail messages and re-read e-mails of support. Give your heart a visible reminder that others do care and want to share your pain. Let them - mentally off-load a bit of it onto their shoulders. Don’t try to carry it all by yourself. It can crush you and it will try. Don’t let it!
(2) Create a morning or evening meditation time. Even if you can’t see how to find the time, do it somehow. This was especially helpful to me in getting through the horrible time of adjustment to life alone after my divorce and then again when my Mom died. I had always said a few wake-up prayers, but found I needed more. I started with Jerry Jampolsky’s book, “Love is the Answer” and read one (short) chapter a day. Then, I bought the book “A Course on Miracles” and meditated on the daily passages. While the 365 lessons seemed to represent a huge commitment, the daily phrases were so empowering that I continued. Additionally, I saved affirmations from various sources like Science of Mind magazine and The Daily Word and read them daily. Any quote from a book or article that I thought would motivate me to get up and make the day a less painful one than the day before, I saved and re-read daily. I posted the best of them around my office and in my meditation area. I still do. When you actively start lookingfor empowering passages, you will be touched and inspired by what comes your way.
(3) Finally, but most importantly, express yourself in some way often! I would recommend that you do it daily, as well. I found out the hard way that keeping emotions bottled up or trying to ignore them hurt more in the long run and adversely affected my health. Talk to people about your loved one, write about him/her, start a journal of your thoughts and feelings, scream whenever you can find a place where you won’t alarm the neighbors, family members or fellow travelers, do some kind of physical exercise to work off steam - whenever and wherever you can vent, do so daily.
To anyone caught in the black and blue morass of grief, I invite you to consider adding these three emotionally healing practices to your daily life. They have helped me come through some horribly upsetting times, still sad at heart, but feeling more serene in the knowledge that I can and will go on - living my life to the best of my ability - for my dear ones and with my dear ones safely ensconced in my mind and heart forevermore.
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About The Author
2005 © Creative Mastery Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.
Gail Stone is Founder of Creative Mastery Coaching, LLC. Find out how you can Get a Grip and Go ! and register for your Get A Grip Clips today at http://www.GetAGripAndGo.com. Enjoy a burst of energy and inspiration delivered to your inbox every three days.
gail@getagripandgo.com
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Sat 21 Apr 2007
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Science Homework? Speed Up Your Progress Online!
by: Katie Robbins
For your semester project you are required to write a biography about Albert Einstein. You need to explore his scientific achievements. Thankfully, your teacher is not making you provide the rational behind Einstein’s E=MC2 equation, but you are expected to write a thorough paper about Albert Einstein. Where do you begin? Your text book only provides a few paragraphs on Einstein. The library is across town and is closed. What is a 21st century student supposed to do? You can answer this question by searching for information about Albert Einstein on the Internet.
When you have trouble with your homework your first inclination might be to give up or even skip doing your homework. Try booting up your computer and searching for homework information online before you engage in one of these drastic measures. Get out your homework assignment and you are ready to get started.
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How do you search for homework information online? First, you need to determine what type of information you need. Do you need general information such as the history of Algebra? Or do you need more specific information about the Algebraic variables? To determine this information read through your homework assignment. Are there any keywords such as a name, place, or subject? Pick out keywords in your questions or topic and type them into an Internet search engine such as Yahoo or Google.
Bring up the Yahoo webpage at www.yahoo.com. Type “Albert Einstein” in the Search box. The search engine will find over six million websites about Albert Einstein. It would take you several lifetimes to sift through this information.
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You have two options. Option #1 is that you can explore the first few websites listed and see if you find enough information. Option #2 is to go to a homework help website instead. Homework help websites can provide information that is geared toward students and not just fans of Albert Einstein. Go to the infoplease Homework Center at http://www.infoplease.com/homework/. You can search for information about Albert Einstein in their reference resources. Their reference resources include Almanacs, Atlases, Encyclopedias, and Biographies. The search on Albert Einstein will bring about 120 resources. A benefit of using these resources is that they are resources you would use in the library. Therefore, they are appropriate to use for academic material.
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Sun 15 Apr 2007
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Youth Sports Goal Settings
by: Ken Kaiserman
New Year s day means different things to different people. Certainly, spending time with family and friends and watching some great college bowl games. In our house, a new year also means making resolutions.
It started about 15 years ago when my wife and I were on a ski trip together before kids. It was one of those days in Taos, New Mexico where the snow was coming down so heavy that you couldn t see your hand in front of your face. For some people, the fresh powder might make for great snow conditions, but for us, it was a great day to sit by the huge fire in the ski lodge and plan our lives .
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We had a great talk that included when we wanted to have kids, financial planning and lots of resolutions including our goals for work, working out, sports, and how we wanted to work out our relationships with the people in our lives. Believe it or not, we sat there for 9 hours and we had fun doing it. Now, every year, we talk about goals with our kids.
All of our kids already have goals, but they may not share them with us. Our job as parents is to help them focus on the correct goals, help them achieve their goals, and later, we need to help them deal with the disappointment of not reaching their goals.
Goal Setting With Kids
The first thing we need to work on with all of our kids is education. For each kid, at every age, they can focus on their schoolwork; improve their skills, and getting their homework done on time. Of course, they can also work on their relationships with parents and their siblings something that never seems exactly where it should be. However, as you know, we at SportsKids are all about youth sports so let s focus on sports.
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All the kids I know say they are going to be professional athletes. Now, there are some kids who say they are going to be doctors, lawyers, business people, the president of the United States, or something else, but again, this is SportsKids. My eight year old son, who doesn t really know who Danny Ainge is, wants to follow in his footsteps and be both a professional basketball player as well as a professional baseball player.
Now, maybe some of our kids will end up being professional athletes, but the statistics say otherwise. Most kids won t be playing organized sports past the age of 12. Very few high school athletes will ever play NCAA Division I sports and almost none of those will ever play professionally. Knowing this, of course, shouldn t diminish our kid s dreams that s what they are supposed to be doing dreaming! So, as parents we have to help our kids reach their potential.
How Should We Help Our Kids?
Keith Hirabayashi is a good friend of mine. Many of you may not know who Keith is, but if you like martial arts you would know; he has been five time Grand Champion at the US World and US Open Karate Tournaments. He was named Weapons Competitor of the Decade, thanks to his expertise with the staff, the broadsword, and the three-sectional staff. He’s a member of The Black Belt Hall of Fame, The Inside Kung-Fu Hall of Fame, and The Fighter Hall of Fame. In addition, he’s been listed among the 100 Most Influential Martial Artists of the Last Century by Black Belt magazine. I ve had many talks with Keith about goal setting and how he reached the pinnacle of his sport.
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Nobody who starts out is great their first day, but they can think big. The trick, as Keith taught me, is to break your dream into manageable steps something that s hard to do, but achievable. When Mr. Hirabayashi first started Wushu as a boy, he couldn t envision becoming Competitor Of The Year so he started with something easier. There was a kid in his class who was great . So, Keith wanted to one day be as good as that guy. One day, he was that good. Then, he wanted to be as good as the assistant teacher.
Finally, he surpassed his teacher, became the best in the world and now founded Champions Martial Arts, a studio in Brentwood, California.
In order to accomplish each of these resolutions and goals, there are a few rules that you need to follow. You need to know what you are trying to accomplish. The goal needs to be specific, measurable, and have a time limit. A person also needs to know why they want to reach the goal and then lay out a real, manageable plan on how to accomplish their goal.
Being a great martial artist, or being great at anything, requires a plan. Start by setting small goals to ultimately reach a larger goal and understand each step. A kid needs to layout a plan for practice, competition and study of their sport. Realizing that practice makes permanent, parents need to make sure their kids are practicing the right fundamentals. Playing a sport only during the organized practices and the games won t get a kid to reach their potential. If your child plays an instrument, you wouldn t allow them to not practice between lessons. Pistol Pete Maravich, one of the 50 greatest NBA players, practiced literally all the time because he knew that some other kid was practicing and getting better than he was. Set small, measurable and achievable goals, lay out a path of how the goals will be accomplished, and then watch the results.
Dealing With Disappointment
Starting with the premise that our kids aren t going to reach their ultimate goal of becoming a professional athlete should in no way diminish the benefits of dreaming, setting goals, and working to accomplish each of the resolutions. It s imperative not to forget the many benefits to playing youth sports, including teamwork, good sportsmanship, developing motor skills, learning to win and to lose, and the friendships that are created along the way. Most of our kids will figure out and realize for themselves that they won t be a professional athlete, but if we help them set small, achievable goals, practice proper fundamentals, and set out a specific plan to accomplish their goals, all of them will benefit and maybe some will actually be able to fulfill their dreams. It all starts by setting your New Year s resolutions.
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About The Author
Ken Kaiserman is the president of http://www.sportsKids.com, a leading youth sports website featuring games,sports news,sports camp and league directories,community features,and Kid Sports with over 150,000 products.
Ken coaches youth football,basketball and baseball.He also serves on the local little league board of directors as well as the Park Advisory Board.
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Tue 3 Apr 2007
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Ten Careers For High School Seniors Who Hate School
by: Max Stein
Let s face it not everybody likes going to school and high school can be a terrible experience for many students. Whether you re the hands on type who preferred Shop class to English class, or an athlete who liked working as a team more than studying alone, or even someone who liked schoolwork more than schoolmates; the idea of four more years of school is unbearable. If you identify with any of these types, but still want to secure a good future, there are some great options out there for you.
For you hands on types there are a lot of great careers out there that allow you to work with your hands and they pay well. There will be some coursework in things like shop math, reading schematics or architectural drawings, but most of this will be reinforced in your daily work. The schoolwork won t seem useless because you will be using it everyday. Best of all, most of the schooling will be finished in two years or less. Most hands on jobs have an apprentice, or on the job training aspect as well, so you can get to work right away.
Some of the careers in this category include:
Electrician Installation or troubleshooting of electrical wires and connections. Work may take place in new or existing constructions. Licensing is required. The lowest starting wage for an electrician is $11.81 per hour, while the median is $19.90 per hour.
Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning Tech (HVAC Tech) Installation or troubleshooting of heating and air conditioning systems in homes or businesses. Licensing is required to work with refrigerants. The lowest starting wage for HVAC Tech is $10.34 per hour, while the median is $16.78 per hour.
Home Appliance Repair Repair of in home appliances like refrigerators, ovens and washers and dryers. The lowest starting wage for Home Appliance repair is $18,200 per year, while the median is $30,390 per year. The skills learned for this job can advance you to other higher paying careers.
For students who paid more attention to extracurricular activities than schoolwork, there are plenty of careers where you can capitalize on your social skills. The healthcare field is one such career. Nurses, physicians assistants and medical assistants all work directly with people both patients and their families. If healthcare doesn t appeal to you and you have an appetite for technology, being a help desk technician allows you deal directly with people and computer technology. You might also take business classes and work your way up to become an office manager in any number of industries.
If you re someone who loves to learn and prefers talking to people on a limited basis there are plenty of jobs you can train for as well. Computer based jobs like software development, web design or database administration immediately come to mind. If you re creative and visually talented, the fields of graphic design and multimedia design might suit you. A great job for someone who likes to perform research is that of a paralegal. That job offers many of the tasks a lawyer performs, without having to go to court. And it pays well. You can even find jobs in the healthcare field where there is limited or no contact with patients like medical coding or office administration.
The bottom line is, even if you didn t like high school, that s not a reason to bypass education and your shot at a good future. Career colleges get right down to business and offer specific training for well paying careers in a short period of time.
Careers for graduating seniors who hate school:
- HVAC Tech
- Home Appliance Repair
- Electrician
- Help Desk Analyst
- Nurse
- Medical Assistant
- Office Management
- Paralegal
- Database Administration
- Medical coding
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About The Author
Max Stein, Salt Lake City, UT, USA
http://www.degreesource.com/articles
Max Stein is a freelance writer who writes about business, education and marketing.
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